He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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