carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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