Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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