I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
