So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
