you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
