Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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