either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
