Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
