I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
