So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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