i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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