You can't motorboat a personality
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
