Kiss
Puke
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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