I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
