Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
