Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
