Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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