I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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