Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I didn't notice because vodka
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
