They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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