Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
