Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
