I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
