I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
