He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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