why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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