the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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