I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
