Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
