My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
You smell like stripper and shame
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Randomize