tell your sister to shave her snatch
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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