Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
