He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
