you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
