He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
