your room smells of hookers.
And success
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
