halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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