weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
