just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
