I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
