you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
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