When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
