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Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
