Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
