i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
