Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
