saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
