Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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