ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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